Joke of the week

A guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth.
The rabbit is dead. The guy panics. He has to clean it up before the neighbors find out. He takes this dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow dries it, takes it back over to the neighbors house, and puts it in its cage. He's really hoping they'll think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Ya hear about Fluffy?". The guy stumbles. "Um... no... uh... what happened?" "Well, we found him dead in his cage one day. The weird thing is, the day after we buried him, we went for a walk. We came back and found someone had dug him up, gave him a bath, and put him back into the cage. It just reminds you that there are some real sick people out there!"

....

A company, feeling that it was time for a shake-up, hires a dynamic young new CEO. The new boss is determined to make an impression and rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the IT department the CEO notices a guy leaning on a a wall. The rest of the room is full of busy workers and he thinks that this is the perfect opportunity to show everyone that he means business.
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make in a week?"
Undaunted, and quite casually, the young fellow replies, "I make $300 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, "Here's a weeks pay, now get out and don't come back!"
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers muttered, "He's the pizza delivery guy."